Tuesday, January 23, 2007
I knew that having a newborn and a toddler would be exhausting, but having a baby with a heart problem is making things even more challenging. Since my main job right now is making sure Demeter gains weight, I really have to make sure every feeding goes well - this seems to conflict with normal life on an hourly basis.
What should have been a nice visit to the museum for the whole family became particularly stressful for me when Demeter became kind of fussy and distracted and wouldn't really settle and have a good meal. All I could do was wonder how many grams she was missing out on, and whether she would make them up later. Whenever she spits up, I think of how hard we had to work to get that food in her, and I get a little sad thinking of the wasted effort. We (as a family) joined the gym and I would love to go every day, but at the same time I don't want Demeter to miss a feeding, and I know I would be worried every second I was there.
Sometimes I think that maybe I'm making too much work for myself, but looking at (and listening to) Artemis, I feel like I did a pretty good job, and don't want to compromise my parenting style just because things are getting tricky.